LA: Six Strings Attached (video)

All photos courtesy of Timothy Norris/LA Weekly.

 

Because it’s a town owned and operated by make-believe, every year Los Angeles and air guitar come together like children and lollipops.

 

Which brings us to the LA halftime show with FRETOPHILE (Nodick Blunder), his make-believe van, his sack of kit kats and a dozen parole violations for being within a half mile of West Hollywood Elementary. Fretophile’s long-form air guitar performance included tracks jam packed with such lyrical junior poontang as:

 

“Oh, oh, oh I love little girls / They make me feel so good . . . Uh oh, it’s a mistake”
Uh oh, I’m in trouble / Uh oh, the little girl was just too little “ (Oingo Boingo),

“I’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passin’ by / See now all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy” (Van Halen),

“I know what boys like / I’ve got what boys like” (The Waitresses), and

“¬–Baby come back!” (Hall & Oates).

 

Taxed with finding Los Angeles’ finest air guitarist was returning celebrity judge JEFF DAVIS (“Whose Line . . .”) joined by our own HOT LIXX HULHAN and DAN HARMON, the creator of NBC’s “Community.” In general, air guitar judges (especially comedians) rarely strike that perfect balance between spectacle and sport, often hijacking the spotlight for a few chuckles and forgetting what the show is truly about (remember: it’s about nothing). And while searching for that balance they usually blow a few scores, leaving poor Hot Lixx to make or break someone’s night in the name of good taste and great air guitar. But Harmon paired with Davis perfectly, leaving Hot Lixx little to do but blow a few lines off Brock’s boobs and enjoy the show with everyone else.

 

Photo credit: Timothy Norris/LA Weekly.

 

Before a sell out crowd, the main events at the Troubadour included nearly two-dozen of the Los Angeles area’s finest air guitar talent. Twenty-three contestants competed for their shot at Denver, with the all the energy and gusto you’d expect from a collection of the town’s finest out of work actors, writers, and yetis (God bless Soulstice). SMART OLD BROAD (Maureen O’Neill), celebrating her 62nd birthday with us, was also joined by BLOODY PENIS FINGERS (Brandon Johnson), DR FEEL MEDIOCRE (Mike Gerdwagen), SOUL OF SATAN’S ONLY BASTARD (Dan Adams) and others. Traveling from as far east as Texas was BROCK McROCK (Taylor Fullbright). The northerly KARA PICANTE (Kara Muir) of Portland lore passed right through San Francisco, forming a 2 person, 2-vehicle carpool with AWESOME (Alex Koll).

 

All photos courtesy of Timothy Norris/LA Weekly.

 

People performed, fun was had, and faces were melted. In the end SIX STRING GENERAL (Tim Granlund) took it hands down.

 

We’ve been absolutely slammed setting up for the National Championships in Denver, but starting now performers and USAG staff and talent alike tear off our business suits and do some make believe of our own.

 

Photo Credit: My iPhone.

Six String General’s Round 2.

Fretophile.

 

Nodick Blunder’s homage to Nordic Thunder.

 

The Real Nordic Thunder.

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